So time passes… Slowly.
My car broke down a few days ago and it’s in the shop now. I’m having to commute by train, again. What a crap deal. But I get to read, hang out with friends and colleagues and spend a lot of time shuffling about town. With all my thoughts stuck inside the old noggin’.
I found myself thinking of him again. It’s been a few months since last. But thoughts of him swirled around my head all of yesterday. His blue eyes. His hands. That old story. But he has a way of making me want him. An aura of innocence which I’ve never seen in a grown man. Not like that anyway. He has a way about him that would drive any woman nuts. Or at the very least, it drives me nuts.
I wasn’t ready for him. I’m not sure I’ll ever be. But he revs my engine. And that mothering feeling that used to be so deeply embedded in the essential me is flourishing thanks to his presence in my life. I think he awoke a desire in me that I thought died that fateful night in 2008. I thought that my entire self died that night. But it didn’t. It was merely asleep. Until I looked into his eyes and saw what I hope is my future… A happy home.
But nothing has happened. And the fall season is here. Time passes, and the rain washes away all the hurt. Or so I hope. All I can do is to hope we get to meet again, we never have to hook up. I just want another glimpse of a future that might still be. Just one more look into his eyes. Just so I can be happy for another moment. At ease. Safe.
Going places that I’ve never been. Seeing things that I may never see again. And I can’t wait to be on the road again…
Lol 